THE LIST

Last week I was sent this list from a client.  She is a highly educated and accomplished, medical professional, but has struggled with drinking for a long time.

It's the first time anyone has sent me such a detailed list and it had a huge impact on me.

It's a reminder that alcohol does not discriminate.

I asked if she would mind me sharing it with you and she kindly agreed.

It's not an uplifting read, unless you understand that it is the catalyst for her ongoing, incredible personal growth, happiness, and peace of mind now that she no longer drinks.

So here it is;

Dear Sarah

When I look at this list ... I can't believe I will be tempted. 

I have been building this list on my phone for many years. The last several pointers have been added now I know about my gene profile.

 Reasons I don't want to drink:

• Significant concern for short and medium-term memory (difficult to remember plots of novels and movies; word-finding difficulties)
• Difficulty putting new learning to memory
• Using it to cope with the mental load of motherhood, household, relationship and work issues … numbing.
• I am aware that I am emotionally and physically dependent on alcohol … I do not want to be a slave to alcohol
• Black-outs
• Alcohol does not relax you. It does not fix the stress in your life. Rather, it inebriates you which covers the pain for a short amount of time. It erases your senses and your ability to think.
• Cannot stop at one; one is never enough; path is inevitable
• Need to have more interests and time in the day rather than go to bed so early and zonk out.
• Look forward to getting into mini-series; reading more; audible etc
• Bad influence and example for kids
• Restricts socialising; too anti-social and too easy to stay at home
• Alcohol is a highly addictive depressive poison; a toxin that is slowly killing me
• Constantly tired …more energy with abstaining
• Reduces my ability to exercise at full potential …  notice a marked improvement in stamina with abstaining
• Affects intimacy of my relationship
• Do not want to live like this for the rest of my life; this path is going no-where
• Tired of feeling guilty, sub-standard and weak
• I enjoy work more and am more attentive and engaged when not drinking
• I desire and need to feel like a calmer mother; need to be more in control
• Alcohol kills motivation
• Chronically dehydrated
• Alcohol is not doing anything positive in my life.
• We are only happier when we take a drink, not because drinking makes us happy, but because the drink relieves that withdrawal that drinking causes
• Alcohol stifles your creative mind, dulls your senses, and turns you into something of a slave to its every whim.  The real world shrinks drastically until it is nothing more than a cycle of hangovers, booze, and falseness
• Alcohol creates the low and then deceives its victims into believing that, by ending the low, it is providing a high
• It takes 10 full days for alcohol to fully leave the system due to altered dopamine levels which may cause cravings. Starve those cravings and allow them to die. Starve the enemy until you are in control, not the cravings.
• With each drink I am losing years of my life and also precious memories of the only life I have.
• Stop drinking … start living
• Mood is depressed and anxious. I am not enjoying anything at present. Life has to be better than this.
• Ashamed that my daughter saw me almost unconscious. She was confused.
• Do not want to feel like a hypocrite when advising about safe limits
• Do not want to feel like a hypocrite when discussing alcohol with teenage children
• Hate needing to hide bottles and pretend I haven't drunk as much as I have.
• Hate not remembering discussions the night before and pretending that I do.
• Hate being preoccupied with how I can get next drink at social outings and sneaking more.
• Hate feeling the quick inebriation that I sometimes get at outings and when I slur words 
• Hate the known increase in breast cancer that I am subjecting myself to
• Hate the known risk of liver disease that more and more professional women are experiencing with chronic excessive alcohol
• Dislike the restricted enjoyable activities that my husband and I do together compared to previous years 
• Alcohol is just a "stress delayer"  Drinking WILL make you more stressed overall. 
• I really don't want to look back after my children have left home (or at anytime) in the future and realise that I "was not living" and not really present for the people in my life.
• I am worried that the children will one day look back and think of their mother as " a drinker",  there but not really there in their lives.
• Alcohol is NOT a super drug that can deliver specifically what we need every time. It really can't adapt to our needs.
• Even at low levels of alcohol intake, below 1.5 units per day (10.5 units per week), there is an increased risk of the following cancer types: oral, pharynx, oesophagus and breast. The risk of getting cancer increases the more alcohol a person drinks. Compared to women who don't drink at all, women who have three alcoholic drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer.
• The more alcohol consumed, the lower the brain volume. In effect, the more you drink, the worse off your brain. There is no threshold for harm – any alcohol is bad for your brain.
• Imagine life 1 year, 5 years, 10 years from now if I keep drinking. This is genuinely terrifying on so many levels. My kids, my relationship, my health, and my bank balance will all suffer. I will be filled with regret that I didn’t take action. I will say I wish I’d done it sooner
• Personal diagnosis of osteopaenia . Known fact that alcohol reduces bone density. Will continue to deteriorate if continue to drink alcohol
• Father diagnosed with dementia. Alcohol causes cognitive decline. Dangerous path . 

Latest research after genetic test.

• Around 15%–25% of people have one copy of the APOE e4 allele
• I have ApoE4 gene :- Having one copy elevates Alzheimer's risk two- to threefold compared to having no copies. Some evidence suggests that the risk of dementia increases along with increasing alcohol consumption in people with one or more copies of the APOE e4 allele but not in people without this allele
• Carriers who consumed alcohol less than once a month still had a 2.3 times greater risk of dementia than carriers who never drank, and carriers who drank several times per month had a 3.6 times greater risk.[22]
• For adults with one or more copies of the APOE e4 allele, any alcohol was associated with a greater risk of cognitive decline, with 90% greater risk for two or fewer drinks per day, a 170% increase for two to five drinks per day, and a 730% increase for five or more drinks per day.[23]

If you've read this list and you're still drinking, well done. It's not an easy read and it may be quite scary. 

But it's not fiction. It's the truth.

We just weren't told this when we started drinking, we didn't know any better.

So go gently and wisely, and if you're ready to break the cycle, join me this July for the uplifting feeling that this list does not need to apply to you anymore,

Love

Sarah