The Joy of Missing Out: Why Saying “No” Might Be the Best Yes of Your Life

By Sarah Connelly

Since October 12th, 2019, I’ve missed out on a lot—and it’s been incredible.
Not always easy, but truly incredible.

The even greater realisation? The longer I miss out, the happier I become.

I wonder—have you ever sat out of something that everyone else seemed to be doing and felt an unexpected sense of peace wash over you?

If yes, that’s the Joy of Missing Out. And yes, it’s real.

We live in a culture obsessed with more. More events. More obligations. More wine. More hustle. We can even fall into the trap of believing that if we’re not saying yes to everything, we’re falling behind.

But here’s what I’ve learned—not just as a coach, but as someone who used to say yes to everything and end up empty:

Sometimes, real joy starts with a “no.”

JOMO > FOMO

When I first quit drinking, the fear of missing out (FOMO) hit me hard.

What if I’m not fun anymore?
What if they stop inviting me?
What if everyone else is laughing and I’m just... boring?

But then things started to shift. Quite quickly, joy began to creep in through the cracks:

• Joy from waking up early with energy.

• Joy from remembering every conversation I had the night before.

• Joy from feeling proud of myself—for once.

I lost my FOMO. And I embraced JOMO.

I was finally opting into a life I actually wanted—a life I’d been sidelining for many years.

The Lies We’ve Been Sold

The alcohol industry and hustle culture are two sides of the same coin. They sell us this idea: to be successful, social, or interesting, we must consume—whether it’s alcohol, validation, or endless productivity.

But from living alcohol-free for nearly six years, I’ve realised that success looks quite different—and it’s beautifully simple.

Success isn’t things, or fleeting highs.
It’s long-term peace of mind.
Self-respect.
Clarity.

All the things I was missing out on when I was drinking.

What You Gain When You Say “No”

Here’s what you really miss out on when you embrace the joy of missing out:

• Poor Sleep → A restless nervous system and persistent anxiety

• Foggy Mornings → Regret, guilt, and disappointment

• Superficial Connection → Using alcohol as the middleman

• Lack of Confidence → Showing up half-mast and phoning it in

• Lack of Self-Trust → The knowing that your choices don’t align with your values

And let’s not forget that tiny twinge of disappointment when you say, “OK, why not,” even though you’re trying not to drink—again.

The Joy Isn’t Found in the Absence—It’s in the Alignment

When people ask if I miss drinking, I smile.

Not in a forced, “I’m trying to convince myself” kind of way.

But in a genuine, grateful, “you have no idea how good it feels to be free” kind of way.

I don’t miss the hangovers.
I don’t miss the anxiety.
I definitely don’t miss pretending to be okay when I wasn’t.
And I don’t miss feeling disappointed in myself—over and over again.

Because what I have now—clarity, energy, peace of mind—is worth everything I used to worry I’d miss out on.

Your Invitation

If you’ve been quietly wondering what you’d gain by stepping back—this is your nudge.

Give yourself permission to opt out.
Say no without guilt.
Trade pressure for peace.

And instead of worrying about all the “fun” you’ll miss out on, focus on all the negatives you’ll be missing out on.

Honestly? It can become quite addictive 😊.

Try JOMO for a week. See how it feels.
I promise—what’s waiting for you on the other side is a thousand times better than any half-remembered night out.

So, here’s to missing out on what doesn’t matter.
And opting in for everything that does.

Warmly,
Sarah Connelly