When I was at school there was a large poster on the wall showing a fly on a piece of food. You could see the fly was sucking up the food in liquid form through its straw, and we were told that it vomits on the food to break it down before sucking it up. 35 years later I am still horrified by flies landing on food. It was powerful messaging that stuck.
During the same time, smoke would seep out from under the door of the teachers lounge and billow out in clouds when the handsome English teacher opened the door, cigarette in hand. It was so cool, we thought. The teachers are doing it, why not us?
Have you ever stopped to consider just how much of what you think, believe, and feel has been programmed into you? It starts early, when as children we are bombarded with messages that seep into our subconscious mind and form our beliefs, choices, and behaviours.
Some of this programming can be helpful, like learning to be kind, work hard, or take care of yourself. But other scripts running in the background may not be serving you quite so well, especially if they lead to self-doubt, unhealthy behaviours, or limiting beliefs.
Your Mind Is Like a Computer
Unfortunately, there are no automatic updates. The beliefs you hold, the habits you maintain, and the emotions you experience are all influenced by the coding you have absorbed over time. This can be a hard thing to accept because we believe we are ourselves based on our own choices. But this is only true if we have examined and consciously chosen or updated the code.
Think about the messages many of us received around alcohol. My coding led to the belief that alcohol was integral to family gatherings, socialising, and having fun. My coding was so powerful that instead of saying no I endured vomiting and feeling horrific as a teenager. As I grew older things got worse, but the code kept running. Without alcohol, my life would be less fun.
I wonder, if that poster had shown my brain being slowly eroded and consumed by alcohol, would my life story be different?
The Programming We Were Fed
Look around you. How many messages out there are designed to keep you stuck in your program and crafted to keep you consuming? In movies and on TV we are consistently shown that a glass of wine is the reward for a long day, that drinking is a symbol of success, and that it is normal to use alcohol to unwind or celebrate.
We have been programmed with this idea: alcohol is desirable, fun, and helpful in all scenarios. If you are sad, happy, celebrating, or suffering, alcohol can help. But there is a catch. If you cannot control how much you drink and drink responsibly, then you must be a powerless alcoholic.
Big Alcohol has thrived for decades on this PR campaign.
The truth is, much of what we accept as normal is simply conditioning. Messages we have been fed so consistently that we accept them as truth without questioning.
But this program does not make sense. Because how can we responsibly consume an addictive substance?
A study by addiction researchers published in The Lancet ranked alcohol fifth in dependence potential, behind heroin, cocaine, nicotine, and barbiturates. However, when looking at overall harm to users and society, alcohol ranked number one, due to its widespread use and social consequences.
While other drugs may be more addictive, alcohol is coded as acceptable and integral to everyday life, from work events to baby showers.
Autopilot vs Conscious Choice
When we recognise that we have been programmed, we can choose to rewrite our code. We refuse to allow external programming to dictate our reality. When we see what has been going on behind the scenes, we can question the choices we have made, knowing that many of them were never truly our choices to begin with.
This is the difference between living reactively and living intentionally.
How to Reprogram Your Mind
If we want to take control of our mental programming, we need to become aware of and deliberate about what we consume and what we reinforce.
1. Take an Audit of Your Inputs
Pay attention to the messages you are exposed to daily. What are you watching, reading, and listening to? Who are you spending time with? What beliefs and behaviours are being reinforced?
2. Question Everything
Do not accept things at face value. Ask yourself, is this true? Does this belief or behaviour serve me? Where did I learn this? By questioning your current programming as an adult, you can start to dismantle outdated and untrue beliefs.
3. Design a New Mental Diet
Whether it is social media, news, entertainment, or conversation, be mindful of what you take in. Just like junk food affects your body, toxic and unhelpful messaging affects your mind. Be more intentional about what you allow in. Surround yourself with content, people, and experiences that reinforce the mindset you want to have.
4. Challenge Old Codes
If you notice negative self-talk or habitual behaviours that do not align with who you want to be, interrupt them. Stop, pause, and question whether this is how you want to react. Then do the new behaviour consciously and repeatedly until the new code sticks.
You Are the Programmer of Your Own Mind
The most powerful realisation you can have is that you are in control of your programming. You do not need to be a passive recipient of conditioning, at the mercy of others who want to control how you think, feel, and behave. You can choose what to accept, what to reject, and what to rewrite.
Once you become conscious of the messages influencing you and decide that you do not want to live life on other people’s terms, you find the freedom to design your own programs, exactly as you want them to be.
If we do not, there can be a hefty price to pay.
Sadly Mr Brown, the handsome English teacher and my personal favourite, died of lung cancer aged 55. My parents both passed away aged 69 and 74, with drinking being one of their favourite pastimes. My friend died of alcoholism, aged 48.
As for me? I struggled with alcohol and mental health for 25 years.
And I have 12 Shoo Away fly devices in my kitchen cabinet.
If this resonates with you and you are starting to question your own relationship with alcohol, understanding what a grey area drinker is might be a helpful next step.
If you are ready to take action, find out more about the 30-Day Power Pause and start rewriting your code for good.
Love Sarah
