Have you ever been triggered? I know I have. And when I am overwhelmed or running on empty, it does not take much to set things off. In the past I would drink almost without thinking. If I felt triggered, which is always a feeling first and foremost, alcohol was my automatic way of soothing the discomfort.
This post is about what happens when we are triggered and how we can learn to recognise those moments and navigate them skillfully, especially when we desperately want to escape, numb, or amplify what we are feeling.
When we are unaware of our triggers and ruled by them, we react in habitual ways based on past experience rather than making a conscious choice about how we want to respond right now. If we are unaware of this process, we repeat patterns we would never consciously choose. Have you ever had a drink when you had promised yourself you would not?
When we learn to manage our triggers, we create the opportunity to make a genuine choice about how to respond instead of falling back into the old pattern. And when we react without thinking, regret almost always follows.
Understanding Your Triggers
Triggers are personal. They come from past experiences, long-held beliefs, and the social conditioning around drinking that most of us absorbed over decades. Think about how many times you have picked up a drink because it is simply what you have always done when you are upset. Or how many times you have told yourself you will stop at one. Add the enormous social normalisation of drinking and it becomes a very powerful combination.
The challenge is learning to handle triggers in a way that leads to growth rather than keeping you stuck in the same cycle.
Triggers tend to fall into a few broad categories. Environmental triggers are places, situations, or times of day associated with drinking. Emotional triggers are feelings like stress, loneliness, boredom, or excitement. Social triggers involve people or occasions where drinking is expected. Internal triggers are thoughts or physical sensations that create the urge. Understanding why alcohol cravings happen and what they really mean can help you identify which of these affects you most.
The Trigger Recipe
There is a pattern that plays out every time we are triggered. I call it the trigger recipe. Understanding this recipe means you can step in and change the outcome before the automatic reaction takes over.
Every triggered moment follows the same basic sequence. Something happens in your environment or inside you. An emotion arises in response. That emotion points to a need that wants to be met. Your mind tells you a story about why drinking will meet that need. And then you act on it.
The key to changing the outcome is to become aware of this sequence and then change the ingredients, specifically the story you tell yourself and the action you take.
The Five-Step Recipe in Practice
Here is a real example from my own experience.
The trigger was an airport lounge with a bar. The emotion that came up was excitement mixed with a little anxiety. The need underneath it was variety and relief from boredom while waiting. The story my mind told me was that I was going away, I deserved a treat, it was my time to relax, and besides it was free. The action that followed was heading to the bar.
Once I identified this recipe I could not avoid the trigger, airport lounges are unavoidable if you travel. But I could change the story and the action.
The new story became this. I am excited and I deserve to be fully present for my trip. I do not want to feel terrible when I land. If I start drinking now I will keep going and arrive feeling awful. The new action was to go to the bar, order an alcohol-free drink, grab some snacks, and enjoy the experience feeling proud of myself.
The trigger, the emotion, and the underlying need all stayed the same. The only things that changed were the story and the response. And the outcome was completely different.
You can apply this to any trigger in your life. The first three steps may not always be within your control. The last two always are.
When a Trigger Catches You Off Guard
Not every trigger comes with time to prepare. When one arrives unexpectedly, here is a simple sequence to work through in the moment.
Start by recognising and naming the feeling without judging yourself for having it. Take a slow, deep breath to create a small gap between the feeling and the reaction. Accept that the emotion is a signal, not a threat, and that it will pass. Then ask yourself honestly what the consequences will be if you act on the urge. And finally, choose the response that aligns with what you actually want for yourself, not the one that offers the quickest short-term relief.
Awareness is always the first step. The ultimate goal is to move from reacting without thinking to making a conscious choice in the moment. This takes practice, patience, and genuine self-compassion. But over time a new default response builds, one that kicks in naturally, the same way reaching for a drink used to.
You are not a victim of your triggers. You are the creator of your response.
A Final Thought
Your mind is your greatest asset and one that is repeatedly damaged by regular alcohol consumption.
By changing the ingredients in your trigger recipe you start prioritising your own wellbeing. And the result is a life that genuinely feels better, not just in the moment, but the next day and the day after that.
If you want to take this further, the 30-Day Power Pause provides the structure and support to practise exactly these skills over a sustained period of time.
Love, Sarah
