Why Drinking Feels Natural - But Isn't
Aug 31, 2025
Dear Friends,
I came across this quote early on in my alcohol-free journey, and it made me curious. It points out that just because someone is able to function, succeed, or fit into a society, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are truly healthy—mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. If the society itself is unhealthy (promoting stress, materialism, addiction, inequality, etc.), then adapting to it without questioning is not wise, and often leads to being disconnected from what is right and natural for us.
Being curious is one of the best things we can be. Here's why.
Have you ever noticed how “normal” it feels to reach for a drink at the end of the day? Almost automatic, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. You may have noticed that you have a drink in your hand with little to no thought at all. You travel on autopilot to the fridge, pour a glass and drink, before you’ve even had time to question what you’re doing.
If you grew up in an environment where drinking was a rite of passage, then this is no surprise. It’s unlikely you questioned the intelligence of the behaviour, because it’s unlikely you knew anything about alcohol, other than it was something people drank on a regular basis, for a variety of reasons.
If you observed alcohol misuse from a significant person in your life, it’s also likely their behaviour created trauma and stress in your younger life, and for many, it sets them up to seek similar relief later in their own lives.
And if you did question the value of it before you became hooked, then you, like so so many, simply fell victim to social norms, expectations and powerful marketing.
So, whilst it may seem natural to drink, it isn’t.
A Paradigm Shift
Let’s be real. When you first drank, it’s likely you felt sick, and at some point, you may have been sick. This too is normalised, but on careful consideration, if you ate a food that made you vomit, you’d be unlikely to eat it again. Our species has survived for so long because we learned that eating some things made us sick, so we don’t eat them.
This is what is so strange about alcohol. It’s a poison that, if consumed regularly and in certain amounts, makes you sick, tired, anxious, and depressed. This is not natural or normal.
What is natural is the human drive to reduce stress, to regulate, and to seek connection. And alcohol has become a tool for this. It only feels natural because of decades of conditioning, cultural norms, and your neural pathways built through repetition.
The Programming Trap
When we turn to drink to manage stress, celebrate a win, or connect with others, it’s simply because we were taught (and sold) the story that alcohol is a natural and acceptable way to switch off, bond, or celebrate. Over time, that story feels real enough to run on autopilot until we’re hooked. The fact that it makes us sick, tired, and dependent is overlooked when we raise our glass and say “Life’s for living!”.
This is why, when you stop drinking, it can feel deeply unnatural. Stress arises, and suddenly the familiar tool isn’t there. You want to celebrate, but you don’t get the ‘high’. The body and mind protest: This doesn’t feel right!
But here’s the truth: what feels unnatural at first is actually the beginning of returning to what is truly natural. It is the beginning of returning to a life as nature intended.
I can promise you, after a period of discomfort and some effort, your ability to enjoy life, relax, and have fun without alcohol returns, tenfold. Furthermore, you rest easy at night and wake clear and calm each morning. This is a lot more natural than waking up feeling like shit and beating yourself up for another over-indulgence.
Curiosity Over Judgment
If you can accept that your drinking arose from curiosity, based on what you observed in your environment, then it’s possible that you can get curious about how it feels to get back to life without the ball and chain of alcohol. You likely had fun and relaxed before you drank. This is still completely available to you.
Instead of judging yourself for drinking “Why am I so weak?” “Why do I always fail at this?” consider the following with curiosity:
- Did I consciously choose this habit?
- Was I educated on what it does to my body and mind?
- Did I know it was highly addictive?
- Was I offered alternative ways to manage my stress/anxiety/overwhelm?
Curiosity is the opposite of judgment. It turns inner conflict into a conversation. It can transform the critical inner voice of shame and regret into a more measured, intelligent enquirer.
If we can allow ourselves a little room to be curious, we may see that given our life story and influences, it was natural that we started drinking. It is also natural, due to the nature of the substance, that we have become dependent on it.
From this curious position, and a desire for new more up-to date information, we may find it opens the door to exploring new, truly natural responses to stress, new natural ways of celebrating, and new more rewarding ways of connecting with ourselves and others.
The Takeaway
If drinking feels “natural” to you, that’s only because it’s familiar, and it’s addictive nature has conditioned you to rely on it to feel, or not feel.
True nature is different: when you’re exhausted it’s your body asking for rest, when you’re excited to go out it’s your heart seeking for connection, and when you’re frazzled and overwhelmed it’s your nervous system asking for calm, not a quick hit of wine to dull the pain.
Invitation
This week, notice when you are triggered or craving. Instead of judging it, or giving in to it, get curious and honest.
Tell yourself it’s natural to be triggered – we all get triggered
Remember that it’s natural to have a craving – alcohol is addictive
Then ask;
Is it natural to respond by drinking the very thing that created the discomfort, knowing it will cause me to feel worse in the long run?
Go Gently
Leading with curiosity is a powerful move, but make sure you combine it with compassion. This is not judgment, it's exploration, and you may need to be curious for a while before you act on your new awareness. Start to explore alternative natural ways to reduce how much you drink – a link to 85 alternatives is available below.
And remember, curiosity is your right, intelligent people question things. Don’t let anyone, or anything dictate how you act, or how you choose to live.
When you lead with curiosity, you can start to rewrite your story—and rediscover what is truly natural for your health and well-being.
With Love,
Sarah Connelly
