The One Thing Holding You Back Isn’t Alcohol. It’s This.

The One Thing Holding You Back Isn’t Alcohol. It’s This.

I’m currently deep in a training surrounded by incredible minds—psychologists, coaches, hypnotherapists, teachers, and entrepreneurs. And yet, over lunch or after class, the same quiet confession emerges again and again:

“Alcohol is the one thing holding me back.”

These are people with all the tools—emotional intelligence, coaching credentials, trauma-informed awareness—and still, alcohol is the last unresolved piece. I get it. I’ve lived it.

The Hidden Incongruence

I remember this clearly.

I had done the work—years of therapy, retreats, journaling, breathwork. I had the knowledge, the resources, the skills. And yet, I couldn’t reconcile my inner growth with my outer habit.

I felt out of integrity.

Even a fraud.

Back then, I also believed alcohol was the one thing getting in the way of living a truly congruent and fulfilling life. And still—I couldn’t seem to stop.

You’re Living at a 6/10 When You’re Built for 9s and 10s

I’ve heard this time and time again—from coaching clients, corporate leaders, and close friends:

“I want to be the best version of myself… but I keep sabotaging my progress.”
“I feel incongruent—how can I lead, inspire, or teach others when I’m still using alcohol to take the edge off?” 

That incongruence is your wake-up call.

As a high performer—a leader, a parent, a changemaker—you can push it down for years. But it doesn’t go away. It whispers at 3 a.m. and nudges you before that second glass.

You’ve done the mindset work. You’ve read all the right books. You know better. But alcohol still whispers, “You need me.” And every time you say yes, something inside you feels… off.

This is called grey area drinking—the space between “rock bottom” and “no problem.” A space full of invisible friction, quiet self-betrayals, and a longing for congruence.

Alcohol Is Not the Real Problem

Here’s what no one wants to admit:

Even just a few glasses a week can erode your confidence, consistency, and self-trust.

It shows up in sneaky ways:

• That grogginess in the Monday meeting.
• The irritation you can’t shake with your kids.
• The creative ideas that never fully land.
• The hesitation when you're about to leap, but don’t feel “in the right headspace.”

You rationalise it—especially at 6pm. But the next morning, the same thought returns:

“This is the one thing keeping me from the life I’m here to live.”

 From Misalignment to Momentum

For years, I operated in that inner tug-of-war.

I was a mother, a coach, a successful business owner—who secretly hated how much I needed a drink to wind down.

That cognitive dissonance was exhausting.

When I finally quit, everything changed—not all at once, and not without challenge. Sure, sleep, skin, and energy improved quickly. But the deep transformation took commitment, discomfort, and resolve.

And this is the trap in thinking alcohol is “the one thing.”

It’s not the final boss. It’s the gateway.

 The Real Blocker Is Fear

 While alcohol certainly gets in the way of the growth we seek, here’s what I’ve learned:

It’s not the wine.
It’s our fear of what happens if we stop.

When I removed alcohol—even just for two weeks—I realised: alcohol was the red herring. I was the one responsible for my 6/10 life.

And once I stuck with it—three months at a time—everything shifted:

• I rebuilt self-trust.
• I saw what needed attention and did the work
• I became someone I respected.

Not because I quit drinking. But because I finally committed to becoming the version of me that drinking was dimming.

You Don’t Lose Anything. You Gain Everything.

 People say to me, “But isn’t it boring not drinking?”

Honestly?

I can’t imagine anything more boring than doing what I’ve always done. What’s thrilling is waking up to myself. Being fully alive. Learning, growing, evolving. That has become way more exciting than a few wines at dinner, a few more after dinner, and a wasted Sunday.

Removing alcohol took me on the wildest ride of my life—and it’s still going. Five years on, and I’m more engaged, more curious, more connected than ever.

The One Thing You’re Afraid of Might Be the Thing That Sets You Free

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
— Carl Jung

If you're reading this and it resonates—remember this:

The real thing holding you back isn’t alcohol. It’s fear.

And once you make a decision to be the very best version of yourself—alcohol simply doesn’t belong anymore.

You stop asking, “Can I drink?” and start asking, “What else is possible for me?”

The Decision

 It doesn’t have to be forever. In fact, I discourage that thinking.

But it does have to be a defined period where you commit, fully and completely, to exploring life without alcohol.

Give yourself a window to reset. To rewire. To rediscover what you’re really made of.

You already know what life looks like as a drinker. So why not find out what it feels like to be fully present?

Put as much intention into not drinking as you once did into drinking.

Wake up to yourself—and see what happens.

You’re Allowed to Outgrow Drinking

You’re allowed to say,

“This isn’t who I am anymore.”
You’re allowed to want more—from your life, your work, your health, your legacy.

Because when alcohol is gone, what remains is you.

You, without a filter.

You, learning how to meet your needs with power, not shortcuts.

You, discovering what real freedom feels like.

With love,

Sarah Connelly

Want Support?

You don’t have to figure this out alone.

I work with high-performing professionals who are ready to reset their relationship with alcohol and finally feel congruent in every part of their lives.

If that’s you join us HERE