The Power of Why

Anyone who’s successfully made lasting change knows this truth: you need a crystal clear, non-negotiable why. When you have this, change becomes easier, more meaningful—and it sticks.

Whether it’s quitting drinking, transforming your health, or breaking free from old habits, your why is the compass that keeps you moving forward. (This idea is something I revisit often in my 30-day program, and I felt it was worth sharing here again.)

Should vs. Want

Do you think you should quit drinking—or do you genuinely want to?

This is one of the first questions I ask anyone who tells me they’re ready to stop. Why? Because the difference between “should” and “want” is the difference between guilt and empowerment.

You must start with your why—why are you motivated to let go of something that may feel comforting, familiar, or deeply ingrained?

Even if you’ve done this exercise before, revisit it now with fresh eyes. Your why is the foundation for change. If it doesn’t light you up, it won’t carry you through the tough moments. And if it’s rooted in someone else’s desires or expectations, it’s not strong enough to sustain you.

Your Why = Your Power

Your why is the driving force behind your actions. It gives you purpose, resilience, and direction. As Friedrich Nietzsche said:

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

When your why is clear, the how becomes possible. You find the strength to move through challenges because your purpose is bigger than your discomfort.

External vs. Internal Motivation

There are two broad categories of motivation:

1. External Motivators

Things like weight loss, better relationships, optimal performance at work. These are all valid and important, but they are often influenced by factors outside your control or take time to materialise. If they don’t happen quickly enough, they can lead to frustration, demotivation, and the why isn’t compelling enough to keep going.

2. Internal Motivators

These are deeply personal and within your control. They include feelings of self-respect, peace of mind, clarity, confidence, and emotional freedom. The beauty of internal motivators is that they don’t rely on external circumstances—they are yours to cultivate and maintain, no matter what.

The Key to Long-Term Change

When you focus on internal motivators, something powerful happens: the external motivators tend to take care of themselves. The more peace, clarity, and confidence you develop, the more naturally your external goals (like weight loss or improved relationships) will fall into place.

So if you’re considering change—especially when it comes to alcohol—get clear on your why. Make it personal. Make it powerful.

🔥 Exercise: Define Your Why

1. Write down your top three reasons for change.
   These should be deeply personal, meaningful, and non-negotiable.

2. Make your why visible.

   • Write your reasons on a sticky note and put it on your mirror.

   • Or use my ritual: I wrote my three words—peace of mind, self-respect, and healthy adventure—on paper and placed them beside three candles. Every morning, I lit them to remind myself what I was working toward.

3. Return to your why daily.
   The more attention you give it, the stronger it becomes.

Whatever change you want to make in life, a compelling why will serve you better than a late, reactive “have to.” Choose your why now—before it becomes a 'have to' or even a 'too late'.