Fear Is Your Friend

"The comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there."
— Unknown

Moving Through Fear: From Comfort to Growth

The day I decided to proactively address my drinking I was terrified. I made an appointment with my GP, knowing that once I said the words, everything would change. Sitting in front of my doctor I took a deep breath and said, ‘I’m drinking too much’. As the words left my mouth, I felt a seismic shift. It was like stepping out of one world, and into another, a world where nothing would be the same again. I had no reference points, no real memories of adult life without alcohol, and yet I knew that the time had come to dive, head-first, into the unknown.

If you’re contemplating changing your relationship with alcohol, you’re probably facing moments of doubt, discomfort, or even fear on a regular basis. You may be procrastinating, delaying the inevitable because it seems like such a huge undertaking, and you’re not sure you can do it.

This is completely normal. We put things off because we believe the pain of change will be greater than the pain of staying where we are. Our minds lean toward the familiar, it’s safer, a known quantity and, regardless of the negative consequences, it’s our comfort zone.

However the fear is a good sign. It’s the gateway to change. Once we deliberately step out of comfort and into fear, the only outcome is learning and growth.

Why? Because real growth doesn’t happen when everything feels easy. It happens when we stretch ourselves. When we choose to lean into the unfamiliar.

There are four zones we must move through if we want to grow—whether it's in our ability to remove alcohol, improve our relationships, work, or any part of life.

🔄 The Four Zones of Growth

1. The Comfort Zone – Familiar but Limiting

• Feels safe and predictable.
• Habits and routines are well-worn, even if they’re not helping.
• Alcohol might feel like a soothing crutch—one that helps manage stress, social situations, or emotions.

While the comfort zone feels good in the moment, it can quietly keep us stuck. It’s where dreams quietly fade, and growth is postponed “until things feel easier.” Unfortunately, in the case of alcohol, it doesn’t get easier. The more we drink, the deeper we go, and the harder it becomes to extract ourselves. Our comfort may end up being the death of us.

2. The Fear Zone – Where Doubt Creeps In

• Self-doubt, anxiety, and discomfort show up.
• We question ourselves: Can I really change? Will I be boring? What will people think?
• The brain offers us escape routes: Maybe it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I can just cut back.

The fear zone is messy. It’s also completely necessary. Many people retreat here—because it can feel overwhelming. But if we stay the course, keep moving through each fear, one day at a time, eventually everything starts to shift.

3. The Learning Zone – Where New Habits Take Root

• You begin experimenting with new ways to cope and unwind.
• You start building resilience and confidence.
• Discomfort becomes more manageable, and progress becomes more visible.

The learning zone is where we start proving to ourselves that we’re capable of change. That we can live, feel, connect, and even thrive—without the old crutches. In the learning zone we build confidence, agency and control. It is the gift we receive from enduring the fear zone.

4. The Growth Zone – Where Life Expands

• You feel stronger, more self-aware, and more in control.
• You gain clarity, direction, and purpose.
• Your world begins to open up, and new possibilities emerge.

The growth zone isn’t just about being alcohol-free. It’s about reclaiming your power and getting your ‘self’ back. It's about choosing and creating the life you actually want—not the one you're simply surviving. This is important. The life you have as a drinker is not the life you will experience once growth kicks in. You have no idea of the possibilities and potential that lies ahead. And once you’ve succeeded at conquering one of your greatest fears, your confidence soars. Things that once seemed impossible, now seem like exciting challenges, and you have the inner resources to go for anything you set your mind to.

The Role of Fear in All of This

Here’s the truth: fear is inevitable. If you’re feeling it, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re moving forward.

Fear is simply the evidence that you’re stepping outside your comfort zone. It's a sign that you're doing something meaningful—something that has the potential to transform your life.

The next time fear shows up, welcome it as a guidepost, not a stop sign.
You’re not going to stay in fear forever, you’re just on your way to becoming.

Five and a half years ago I stepped into the fear zone. It took a while to pass through it, but I did, and if I can, you can too.

• "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for."
— John A. Shedd